From East Africa to USA: Mystery of the first flight.

From East Africa to USA: Mystery of the first flight.

Dos and don’ts.

• On your first flight remember the magic word Ask! Ask! Ask! The secret to getting to your destination safely and on time is to ask. If you are from the village, everything from the beginning will look like you are watching movie or you are dreaming. I am sure you will be thinking like me then: waiting to board a plane in an open field and imagining how I will wave at my family as i climb the ladder, just like how Moi used to do. It won’t happen just follow the group and you will find yourself in the plane.

N/B Remember to stop by the forex to convert your money into the currency of your destination or at least into dollars because it will be accepted everywhere. Forget about the shilling it won’t sell, just like a toothless cow in the market you will stay with it ‘mpaka’ return date.

• If you can’t read well your boarding pass ask (I mean those pieces of papers you get last at airport), this is where you will get to see your seat number, arrival time and destination. You have a lot to worry about on the way, save your brain and ask things you don’t know from the pretty lady in Uniform.
• There will be a Bunch of instructions to follow, pay attention to the Pilot and the safety demonstration (its normal procedure, don’t get scared). Please ask somebody if you are seated on exit door. Get off that chair and ask to sit somewhere else, you’re too much to help someone now. If you can locate someone you know on same flight ask the hostess if you can sit with her/him….someone you know at this point is anybody from your home country. Two is better than one.
• Now you’re seated, do not worry about the plane as it takes off it is very safe. It is now time to trust your ears and you broken English to save your tummy. I have no problem if you boarded your home flight because the menu will sound familiar although some attendants might attempt to twang a little bit. Do not miss a meal even if you are a picky eater, just ask and ask and ask. There are strange things that might throw you off .i.e. Chicken noodles is not chicken, don’t go with the first part of the sentence listen fully.
• They will ask you if you need something to drink. It’s easy to make up one, just take any fruit and add the word ‘juice’ to it and you will have one. For instance, apple juice, mango juice, orange juice etc. You might consider tea, I meant regular tea not this other green stuff. They will bring you a cup of water with dissolving tea bag in it. It comes with 2 sachets written sugar (ask for about 10 of those) and another tiny packet, bring it closer to your eye and you will see somewhere written milk, please don’t drink it, it is for your tea. Open the milk packet by peeling the top lid (do something to get your milk into the cup). Tear the sugar sachets and pour into the cup. Do not attempt to mix with your hand or by shaking, there is another tiny stick or straw that come with it ‘koroga nayo’
• Adhere to the call of nature, you are free to use the bathroom/restroom/toilet. Do not hold on to this luggage because it is not good for your kidneys. It might seem complicated to operate the toilet, but I know you will figure out. Do not think deep about where it will go it is not your business.
• If you are from Nairobi, you will probably be connecting your flight somewhere in Europe, if you are in doubt ask, sometimes you will be in country that uses a different language, show them your pass and many will be willing to help, If not, try the hard way, put away the pass that you’ve used and have the one you need at hand, try to read carefully in order to find the Gate number. Be calm and begin searching for the right gate and make sure you confirm before you sit down to wait for your next flight. N/B To Gate B is different from Gate B. TO GATE B means you are still some distance away, probably you have to catch a train or a bus, take a lift, take the stairs or you have to walk. GATE B means you’re on the right spot
• And the circle begins again.

A.O.B

• If you are headed to USA, confirm the weather or season, do not show up at Norfolk airport (May-August) armed to teeth with 3 layers of new vest, shirt and heavy jacket ,that is good for Late October until May.
• If you are a man (Mwanaume) stay away from ‘PINK’ stuff and don’t ask me why.
•  Catch up with me next weekend for: USA 101.