Mshambabroad: Why a ‘C-  ‘   is the best High school Grade.

Completing High school in my own opinion comes with a ‘one time’ episode of spring: at last you’re free, you wake up at your own time and that you do not need to deal with structured life. In a single blink, all will disappear into the thin air, your harvest will soon be a round the corner, and the harsh reality will be checking into your sense, sleeplessness will kick in and begging for what’s next in life. What is next is solemnly determined by who is aware of his fate and who is ready to hit the road on self-reliance. In a few lines I will, in my own personal analysis express the restructuring of a society through grades. You will in fact understand why ‘C-‘makes a life of less hustling or successful rich people. Be cautioned that I do not speak about the outliers or those who lie in the extreme ends of the graph.

Irrespective of school or place ,a C- is a grade of average people and it is consistent  from all forms no matter how hard you work. These are the group of persons that require less time  to think about whether they passed or failed, in fact they have more time to choose what they really want : farmers, mechanics, hawkers, shopkeepers. They do not rely on an external force to remind them of what careers to pursue. Consider an A or A- persons, without the experience of a parent/sibling, this group makes majority of the hopeless persons. They rely on the government to program them to do what is based on grades. They spend time on social media because they think a grade is an automatic qualifier of success, this is  a justification of why a village mechanic is more intelligent than a graduate of mechanical Engineering, why  a student of Polytechnic is more qualified to pull electricity than a graduate in Electrical Engineering. FYI, there are more rich C’ persons than A if justified means of acquisition is factored and that majority of the corrupt belongs to the frustrated A’s, B’s and E’s. You might ask why and E may fall into the same category, it simply because of the extreme guiltiness and condemnation as a failed person and that they will never be good at anything. If in doubt ask why Koinange Street belongs to smart students? It is hopelessness and inability to do what is best for self, if this condition is mixed with pride which most of them attached with grades it becomes a good recipe for an immoral society.

There are more evidences to justify this piece, perhaps it is the nature of humans to praise that which they do and call it ‘I like it’ ill-heartedly, perhaps if an open mind is led to wonder you will wake up to the reality. You will be able to see that a C+ and B- is also another group that waits for something to push them high, because they feel as though they should have studied a little more. They blame themselves over a party they attended and others keep a second try on high school. Those who have exhausted their only bullet and are unable to pay for college will dive for hate of society and will settle for the un ending guiltiness blaming everything that comes their way. Who wants to attend TTC or river –road colleges when they were a stone throw from University and HELB.

Life might turn ugly if mainstream structures are the only means to define what individuals are good at. Be warn that this is not a call for a deliberate C-, this should be a caution to those capable of falling in the Extremes and that passing  without purpose and desire might send you into to the tubes of despair and agony. Working hard is not optional but What are you working hard ‘for’ makes a great difference (Teleological conception).

Kale- Excerpt:  The F & B of their Time.

Picture from Jeff’s Journey  blog

I am Kale by default and not by choice for a good reason beyond my own reasoning. In order to understand the writings below you should be aware of the natural placement and to treat the content as lessons from years of experience. Our parents then days had their own swag of F and B to reprimand or respond to a child’s behavior. As opposed to the F and the B of today, words were more of emotional and metaphorical in nature. Take a look at this line Mokergei ak lagokab Koin, in simple reasoning  it means other children are doing better. When you place the words in the context, you won’t find those children that are better than you nor the house they were referring to. Functions remains the same but the terminologies have changed and recently cursing and abusing is restricted to -below the belly button and above the knees.

Koseng’engit is one of the strongest confronting word spoken by upset parents to their children, it only works when stressed and with a high tone.  Kiseng’eng in its relevance only and only means to open your mouth as in to instill sublingual or under the tongue medication. There are some rare instances in which the word might mean otherwise: for instance when some folks happen to sleep while seated in a chair and their mouth is wide open, that would mean Kiseng’eng. Derogatively the term can also change meaning if applied to a child that has been crying for long time. Parents or any elder person will shut them up by saying Mete Kaseng’enget. Same term can also be applied when kid repeatedly keep losing some items or belongings especially if they were send to bring, they will they will them kiamwa ale ii koseng’engit or rather kepiseng’enge is?

Kwong’ot is another word with is roots from the term kekwong which simply refers to wonder, it is not really a bad word, but the application to certain circumstances makes it very abusive. Derogatively the word is used to refer to someone who instead of critically thinking about a situation they just stare and therefore it applies to recurrent and continued wonderings. It applies to a situation in which one cannot think and everything that they see doesn’t make sense to them and therefore they are affected by kwong’et and that you’re kwong’ot. Kwong’ot in the sense that you cannot make quick and conclusive decisions in what you see or do. This behavior can only be reprimanded by kemeto kwong’otet (leave wondering). To leave does not and should not mean to stop, but to leave Kwong’otet is significant to the attached portability of the word.

Abusan is synonymous to the word dumb, it is one of the Kale words that is oftenly used while referring to Kids misunderstanding of purpose and use. The context in which this word is occasionally applied is when a kid does not or he/she does not reason on certain things. Let say a kid climbs a tree and in the event falls, tears clothes or losses teeth, they will refer to them as being abusan, and that is the result of abusanatet, it won’t matter the damage because the kid has always been  abusan and he/she needs to stop the abusnatet. Repeated reference to Abusnatet can be a very demoralizing representation because a kid will otherwise perceive this as a disability and will grow knowing that he is abusan.

Chepiywet is another common word, with reasons not known, Chebiywet is common and not Kipiywet. Kip refers to men and Chep refers to a woman and the word is derived from iywek which refers to madness locally and in Psychology it is categorized Mental illness. This word is applied in behaviors that are happening shortly and are not physiological in nature. In order to understand the description of the same, consider this scenario:  a kid that jumps from place to place or desk to desk has a lot of iywek. The term can be quantified at times when a kid is very hyper and they will refer to chang (many) iywek. In my on view, Iywek is synonymous to Attention Deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) but the remedies differ. Iywek in Kales Kids is often treated with corporal punishments and more so canning which has demonstrated to be effective.

Catch up later…

From East Africa to USA: Things to get used to, thoughts to keep to yourself and words that mean otherwise.

Coming to America is quite an exciting and a challenging experience, especially if you’re from Africa. It digs deep into your imaginations, especially if you have a preconceived reality that does not and will not coincide with present physical reality. Like a child in the wonderland as Pythagoras puts, you never leave anything to chance, you inspect, double check, record and ask questions about everything. You are excited to see things that you otherwise thought they only exist in your homeland: I was amazed to see a crow and domestic doves that were in numbers in New York City. The journey is full of experience, wonders and awkward moments.  I will explore a few incidences that one should desist from, others to get use to and those that mean otherwise.

From the very first day, it’s wise to be very observant and be the last to take chances on things. Being observant means you get rid of those quare incidences where people stare at you while you walk past them. You will be quick to realize that you do not slam doors and if someone is following you it is etiquette to hold the door for them. It’s also very important to say thank you and sorry at almost all instances. This does not mean we in Africa do not have manners but have different ways of expressing the same, because we really don’t have our doors locked at all times. It’s also relevant to keep your comments until later times or years: honest unscreened compliments can be very insulting to some people in this other world and may call for a suit. In Africa it’s a credit to say you gaining weight or you are getting get fat, but here skinny means you are healthy and sexy. Mode of dressing is almost a 360 change based on weather and lifestyle, be quick to judge your moves because temptations can make you cross the road blindly. You might find yourself staring at girls/ladies/women dressed half-naked and in ladies making physical complements about guy’s physique i.e height, color, muscle tone and voice. It’s a different environment and certain morals in which we grow with totally do not apply across the water. It might not be wise to comply with the same if you are a typical Christian, which I absolutely presume you are, but just keep to yourself and retain the questions in your medulla. More often than not, you will come across a lot of mini fake – smiles, understand that in this side of the water, it doesn’t signal a ‘like’ and readiness for the first move.

Food, food! It is the most horrible mistake you will commit to your lovely tummy and you’re liable for a conviction. Across the water, there will be No more ugali, freshly cut meat, backyard green veggies and milk. I was lucky to find some beans, but they were sugary I guess it is what I have learned nowadays to be barbecue. Sukuma wiki becomes kale/ collards, but it will not come with matumbo as usual. Milk will be in plenty, but don’t ask from what species, it might have a weird taste at first, but blame it on your taste buds which you left at home. Folks will laugh at you because you want your milk hot or warm. Do what you have to do until you system is fully assimilated to these extremities,after all breast milk and cow milk is warm ;hey you are actually doing right. Save your brain from more wonders, everything that is liquid thereafter will be iced and you will soon be conforming.

There will be many times in which the word yeah accompanied with an incongruent smile will be relevant. As you begin to understand the American accent, you will begin to try and correct your own English to fit their way. Your English is standard and trying to twist it makes the conversation even worse, I guess as many have suggested the best way is to slow down and say one word after the other. Some words will shock you, for instance…’don’t say nothing to nobody’ which reasonably means don’t tell anybody, others will include…you was at home or I will go give me a sandwich. If you are a student it will be hard to catch up with the lecture, timetable, modes of grading, time and places. The college system in this side of the water is  designed to accommodate and lessen such worries about whether you’re going East or West, after all you’re a grown up and you will never tell the direction. It is not your problem, it is just that your point of reference is the Granary back at home and you always want to refer to East base of that mental image. . Your admission package comes with campus maps and building names.

As time goes by and if you are not the type that rolls with the majority, you will realize the fantasy of getting quick money and wealth is an illusion and that being a student you won’t get close to those dollars until you deviate from the normal  intended curve. You will be able to understand what was written years ago by Plato that “necessity is the mother of inventions”   and that which is extra-ordinary was an invention to curb a life and dead need, although some will be a mere luxury. Time will also change your perceptions that driving is a luxury and symbol of class but you will be able to realize that it is a basic need to families and a liability to a student.

Change as it has been worded is inevitable, not every change is to be consumed: perhaps most of it will be absorbed for conformity purposes and some will be a cover up of the emptiness or inability. As you adjust to the new world, learn to eat the fish your own style.

To be continued.

In the name of civilization…..

So it is a Friday afternoon and I am sitting in the parking lot of Walmart store; Walmart is a store or rather a supermarket where you can find anything and everything from food to furniture to vehicle spare parts. They also have extensive parking spaces and it is convenient for some folks to sit and idle for a little while after a long ride. Some choose to pull over these spots when they are lost in the streets to stop and refresh their memory. I chose this spot today because my friend is not quite familiar with this place and he only knew his way to the store. So I arrived here on time and I picked up a book to read a couple of pages as I listen to some music. After a few minutes one car pulled besides my car, a lady driving it. I presume from her look that she was anxiously waiting for something. Highlight the ‘SOMETHING’ because it is relevant to what I am going to unveil to you. It took a few minutes then a truck pull beside and a boy of about 5 years came  out from the back seat and his dad whom I confirm from how they boy called him followed him with a book bag. What really pinched me is how the boy gave a long hug to his dad and in between he stared to his mom with love and at the same time with a face that said “I love you both but why all this?” All his dad said was “See you on Sunday evening …… bye daddy I loves you”. Remember there was no exchange of words between the two parents.

My question is, how did we ended up here? What future is left for our children if they grow up in such unnecessary parental conflict and hate amongst parents. I would rather say they better stay in one place than to be taken as products of exchange for pleasure and company.

Part 2: The Good Ole Times.

Do you recall these: Sololoi has been living in Kajiado since he was a baby, no Pencils for Amoit and Atyang, Kibagenge co-operatives, Adventure in the forest (Ewoi) and grandmother’s basket? If you can recall these stories, we are on the same page, perhaps you might have a better recollection than I do. This is the beginning of class four. Hormones control nearly everything, everybody is scared of doing something foolish, no one wants to sit in front, boys don’t want to sit with girls and older boys want to be back–benchers. This is where you begin to hate school and your English teacher, but if you think about break and games time you will rather suck it up and have the lean part later. You would rather be in school and break the language than be at home chasing sheep and goats up and down. The girls themselves are separated according to age, the boys also group themselves in mini – age-sets. The older ones, especially the circumcised men stay at furthest isolated elevation (hill) in the school compound and the almost ‘ripe’ boys and girls are beginning to isolate themselves from the young and hyperactive pupils. Put yourself in any of the groups and I will probably detail a few episodes that might help you recollect your good times.

I would rather begin with days you would have hated school, top on my list is when you had a double English lesson. To make it worse is when you had a passage to read and a few dictation to begin with. As a norm, everyone gets a sentence to read. And you would pray to God, wishing to get the shortest line or paragraph and not come across these words: Veranda, Several, Listen, Enough and so many others. Of course it was different for some people because I remember one day my friend, whom we trusted with pronunciation threw everybody out with wrong pronunciation and we all followed him. The teacher asked him how to pronounce the word UNTIL and how we ended saying OONDIL God knows and yeah, everybody got a few sticks in the buttocks.

Secondly, arriving at school late on a Monday, when everybody is already on the assembly line. You are late and everybody is staring at you, my favorite teacher Mr. Kitur won’t give you a second chance to explain how kuni was not dry or how mom was late for tea and the stupidest excuse is “I was sick”. Assembly was a comedy dais, a church, a court and cell at the same time. I recall one day when the Head teacher was asking this young girl why she didn’t bring the activity fees: she had a very clear, honest answer “ kale mama ndochob Tugun aibun”(Mom says when she makes and sells busaa I will bring the money” funny isn’t but kids are amazing. There was also an incidence when you had to learn that chawa (lice) had the instincts and moments to embarrass. They would come out of some boy shorts or sweaters and take a tour around their scalp: ooh boy you would want to laugh or help but in the assembly line any movement was a cause for suspicion and you would be punished terribly. There were times when we had to lie down facing up and the teacher would check your neck by scratching with a pencil, beat you and warn not come to school dirty. Did we really care? Not. There was too much to be happy about than shower so we only reserved it for Saturday and Sunday and the other days it was parts of the face excluding the surrounding of the eye. Almost all the time you would miss the gastrocnemius or the ‘sekwembe’, even if you are only applying some lotion, sorry the Arimis milking jelly. Tractor grease or oil works best for folks like me who spent days in the marshy swamps and would have their legs looking like the back of a tree: rough and dry, requiring soaking before a real shower. I used to enjoy rainy days, especially if you are in the swamp, your legs would be moistened and makes it easy to clean.

There were several types of punishments that accompanied each offense, the most common one was “Hold Your Ears”: it was not easy to do so, you had to bend down and  stretch your hands  down and under your thighs and up to your ears, it is impractical to imagine, but the purpose was to get you buttocks tight and accessible. The other common one was kiss the wall as it is, lay down, locking your head in between teacher’s knees and putting your head under the table. Others included ruler strokes on the dorsal of your hand and also the pinching which was used on a rare occasion because it was too mild for chronic offenders.  Kenyans are funny people, they always have a survival tactic for instances wearing two shorts or putting on a cow skin or books under your back or buttocks. There were other forms of good punishment for instance weeding flowers and slashing grass. They were very good, especially in the morning when you had a Math and English class. Sometimes you were told to run around the buildings or the track and it wasn’t that good because it was a form of public humiliation. Similar punishments were very common at home, the only difference is that at home it was very severe and life threatening. You can imagine your mother, stepping on you at night and with serious strokes and they don’t care whether you are bleeding or not and you can’t escape because it is dark outside. There were days when you would be told to go back to where you came from, I wish they would knew you were starving. To the extreme were the mental tortures that came as a form of discipline. There is sherehe in your neighbor’s house and all your friends are full and playing and you are just across the fence looking after the cows and all you do is imagining and cursing internally, wishing for a day you will have your own sherehe and thinking of not inviting your parents. Hey, they were terrible, but I guess they make us disciplined and adaptable to all kinds of lives in this world. They make us hard core.

I hated this most: showing up in assembly line on a Monday with wet clothes that smelling like TABUT or barbecue grill, and you really don’t know why. It is just that Friday always looked like a closing day, and on Sunday evening is when you think of school….there you have the answer. Secondly, when you have a mandatory parent’s day, and your parents are the kind that talk a lot in meetings, pray it is not closing day and your score is impressive. Scores really didn’t worry me a lot, it is mom/dad speaking in front of all the students with broken Swahili and English, that’s when you really want to run away. I haven’t finished yet, you still have this letter you wrote to this girl and put in an envelope that you made from a piece of paper and decorating around the edges with blue and red pen. If it happens that you lose this letter you will find it in the ‘Lost and Found box’ in the principal office. Sometimes you gave it to your intended recipient and if her hormones aren’t there yet, she will staki wewe (report you), wish they will not read it in public and hope it won’t.

The fun part of being in school, especially at this level, largely is when there was a strike or teachers’ meeting. You had nothing to do, but jump from class to class, desk to desk and making the loudest noise. If your hormones were active it was the perfect day to find a mate, I mean to smile to a beautiful girl of your choice as long as you were not in contention with gigantic fellow. I won’t recollect what sort of dates these were, it was too early to imagine marriage and wealth. I only remember we had to spend much talking about what your dad is planning and how to fantasize how successful you and your family will be. You had to do this because it makes kesha or Vijana parties entertaining. You cannot attend crusades at night with a lot of happiness if the girl you are interested with won’t be coming. Having a date at class 7& 8 was good for December parties. I mean those small groups of boys/men who would arrange for small contributions to buy bread, soda and rent a battery to play music. It was really fun, inviting girls to this night-dance and get together. This is where I learnt to use the words ‘better late than never’ and also the goodness of serving hot tea before real meals, it reduces eating capacity. Other than village parties were the Muziki in the boys’ cottage, you buy two or three Eveready pakapower or Bell batteries and there you have a long night of entertainment, to avoid interruptions hire an FFU (fanya fujo uone) for a bottle of changaa and he will make sure there was no one interruptions. Sometimes it was worth interrupting some other guy’s party or Muziki with some sort of local engineer tactics. Just get a few spoilt eggs and throw in the house and the whole place will smell horrible. Others would even get some pepper and when you drop this into a dance floor everyone will be sneezing. To the extreme was the use of bees which I didn’t do, some guys would get bees in a polyethylene bag and unleash in the party house or singira.

But the real deal is on the day of Mchezo, you have all these schools coming and you spend a good deal with you village boys picking fights irrelevantly with your age mates. It wasn’t common among the older pupils, but the young folks really had good fun with terrible acts. For instance, you snatch Mangoes from others and run away or pick up spoilt fruits thrown away and bite them to taste if it’s really bad. The rule was so simple, pick anything that’s lying loosely be it food or something and take it. And I wonder what was magical about this glucose powder they used to give to players/ runners after the sport.

In the end, remember I do not write to ridicule the past but to cherish the moments that makes us distinct and enduring in all sets of cultures. There is possibility that what makes Africans and more so Kenyans excel in diversity is because of their childhood upbringings. It is all for you to read, remember, imagine, laugh and share.

Part 3 coming soon!!!!!!

Turonik: Village Childs’ Fortune

Call it a child wish, a wish that only happens in December. A wish only for those whose age shy away from the next circumcision.  The wish that, the imperfect corn harvesters will be working at your neighbors’ shamba.  It will be a perfect day to save yourself from the humiliation of unplanned Christmas day. Who want’s old fashioned? Chepchorta, D.H, marina. Yaay! Lemek have just completed harvesting . You, your sister and your friend pair yourself with Chebirok. Hope you didn’t mess up your bulldozer after yesterday volley ball, it will be necessary for the sport….flipping stalks and you inspect keenly for a fortune, a fortune that the farmer calls a loss. One after the other (don’t add Chebulotinik), by now the youngest will be filling their ‘teseet’ (Busaa filtering bag). The older is still out for more fortune, I mean more corn to buy enough for ‘everyone’. The season is almost over and you should have been to Emily’s shamba, Keiyo’s shamba, Rogony’ shamba. Thanks to free world because you don’t have to deal with trespass and N.I.M.B.Y (not in my backyard), just co-exist with the cows. In the end you have a treasure to cherish, hope your parent are not the type that distributes equally nor the one that owns after you have work hard. The parent that will vow not to be accompanied to the market only to show up with D.H shoes and Kenya uniform at total of KSHS127.50, and the rest is nothing but a weird look. “Ilen kotya rabinichotok!”