From East Africa to USA: Things to get used to, thoughts to keep to yourself and words that mean otherwise.

From East Africa to USA: Things to get used to, thoughts to keep to yourself and words that mean otherwise.

Coming to America is quite an exciting and a challenging experience, especially if you’re from Africa. It digs deep into your imaginations, especially if you have a preconceived reality that does not and will not coincide with present physical reality. Like a child in the wonderland as Pythagoras puts, you never leave anything to chance, you inspect, double check, record and ask questions about everything. You are excited to see things that you otherwise thought they only exist in your homeland: I was amazed to see a crow and domestic doves that were in numbers in New York City. The journey is full of experience, wonders and awkward moments.  I will explore a few incidences that one should desist from, others to get use to and those that mean otherwise.

From the very first day, it’s wise to be very observant and be the last to take chances on things. Being observant means you get rid of those quare incidences where people stare at you while you walk past them. You will be quick to realize that you do not slam doors and if someone is following you it is etiquette to hold the door for them. It’s also very important to say thank you and sorry at almost all instances. This does not mean we in Africa do not have manners but have different ways of expressing the same, because we really don’t have our doors locked at all times. It’s also relevant to keep your comments until later times or years: honest unscreened compliments can be very insulting to some people in this other world and may call for a suit. In Africa it’s a credit to say you gaining weight or you are getting get fat, but here skinny means you are healthy and sexy. Mode of dressing is almost a 360 change based on weather and lifestyle, be quick to judge your moves because temptations can make you cross the road blindly. You might find yourself staring at girls/ladies/women dressed half-naked and in ladies making physical complements about guy’s physique i.e height, color, muscle tone and voice. It’s a different environment and certain morals in which we grow with totally do not apply across the water. It might not be wise to comply with the same if you are a typical Christian, which I absolutely presume you are, but just keep to yourself and retain the questions in your medulla. More often than not, you will come across a lot of mini fake – smiles, understand that in this side of the water, it doesn’t signal a ‘like’ and readiness for the first move.

Food, food! It is the most horrible mistake you will commit to your lovely tummy and you’re liable for a conviction. Across the water, there will be No more ugali, freshly cut meat, backyard green veggies and milk. I was lucky to find some beans, but they were sugary I guess it is what I have learned nowadays to be barbecue. Sukuma wiki becomes kale/ collards, but it will not come with matumbo as usual. Milk will be in plenty, but don’t ask from what species, it might have a weird taste at first, but blame it on your taste buds which you left at home. Folks will laugh at you because you want your milk hot or warm. Do what you have to do until you system is fully assimilated to these extremities,after all breast milk and cow milk is warm ;hey you are actually doing right. Save your brain from more wonders, everything that is liquid thereafter will be iced and you will soon be conforming.

There will be many times in which the word yeah accompanied with an incongruent smile will be relevant. As you begin to understand the American accent, you will begin to try and correct your own English to fit their way. Your English is standard and trying to twist it makes the conversation even worse, I guess as many have suggested the best way is to slow down and say one word after the other. Some words will shock you, for instance…’don’t say nothing to nobody’ which reasonably means don’t tell anybody, others will include…you was at home or I will go give me a sandwich. If you are a student it will be hard to catch up with the lecture, timetable, modes of grading, time and places. The college system in this side of the water is  designed to accommodate and lessen such worries about whether you’re going East or West, after all you’re a grown up and you will never tell the direction. It is not your problem, it is just that your point of reference is the Granary back at home and you always want to refer to East base of that mental image. . Your admission package comes with campus maps and building names.

As time goes by and if you are not the type that rolls with the majority, you will realize the fantasy of getting quick money and wealth is an illusion and that being a student you won’t get close to those dollars until you deviate from the normal  intended curve. You will be able to understand what was written years ago by Plato that “necessity is the mother of inventions”   and that which is extra-ordinary was an invention to curb a life and dead need, although some will be a mere luxury. Time will also change your perceptions that driving is a luxury and symbol of class but you will be able to realize that it is a basic need to families and a liability to a student.

Change as it has been worded is inevitable, not every change is to be consumed: perhaps most of it will be absorbed for conformity purposes and some will be a cover up of the emptiness or inability. As you adjust to the new world, learn to eat the fish your own style.

 

To be continued.